People often confuse sensuality and sexuality, or - even worse - assume they mean the same thing. While I can’t deny that they’re inexplicably linked, the truth is that sensuality and sexuality are two completely different concepts. Unfortunately, sexuality receives more attention in the mainstream media, which frustrates me as I’m a firm believer that sensuality is just as important - if not more important - than sexuality.
Sensuality is all about your ability to feel pleasure both through your mind and body - pleasure that isn’t inherently sexual. If you’re a woman who struggles with getting in touch with her sensual side, or if you’re simply curious in exploring your sensuality further, let me tell you about the three gateways you can explore to embrace and develop your sensuality.
Something can be sensual without being sexual, and vice versa. Sensuality refers to our ability to receive pleasure from our five senses of touch, scent, taste, sight and sound. It intertwines our mental, emotional and physical sides, and allows us to experience our emotions in their most raw form. Allowing ourselves to fully experience pleasure in our bodies and minds is incredibly healing and rewarding, which is why developing a healthy sensuality is essential to the health of your mind and body.
When it comes to our five senses, we tend to associate touch and taste with our sexual endeavours – but never underestimate the power and importance of the touch of smell! Our sense of smell is impressively sensitive and is closely linked with our memory. Fun fact: this is because smells are processed through a region of our brain called the olfactory bulb; this is closely connected to your amygdala and hippocampus, which handle memory and emotion.
Now I don’t know about you, but I definitely want to be creating some positive memories in the bedroom whether I’m by myself or with my partner. So to use the sense of smell to your advantage, light a scented candle and apply a spritz of your favourite perfume - or even better, my personal favourite essential oil, Whisper. I’ve never smelt anything quite as unique as Whisper, so email me to grab your own bottle and add it to your daily practice. I guarantee you’ll be feeling more sensual in no time.
This one is closely linked to our sense of smell being a gateway to sensuality. When bathing, our minds and our bodies are as vulnerable as can be. By turning bathing into a sensual experience, you’re treating yourself with the self care that is necessary to foster a loving relationship with yourself. It also incorporates the sense of smell as well as the sensation of warmth, so everyone wins! Invest in some fragrant bath bombs or salts, incense, or scented candles that will elevate your bath into a sensual experience and leave you feeling refreshed and supple. I even have a sensual bath playlist that will help you lose yourself and embrace your sensuality even more; follow me on Spotify to give it a go.
Okay, so it’s no surprise that sensual clothing is one of the most important gateways to sensuality. However, this doesn’t simply mean dressing seductively when with your partner. Something as seemingly trivial as wearing a sexy matching lingerie set underneath your everyday clothes is one quick and easy way to feel like a million bucks. There’s something empowering as hell about dressing sensually for no one but yourself. Now I understand more than anyone else that some days it’s a struggle to get out of your hoodie and trackies - but for those days you’re willing to put in that extra bit of effort, give it a try!
As a Perth sex educator, I live and breathe sensuality – and I don’t simply mean flaunting my sensual side, but helping others realise its importance and its ability to change your everyday life. With Evolved Lovers, I help Perth couples and individuals with all aspects of their relationship, and believe me when I say sensuality is fundamental to all facets of your relationship – mental, emotional and physical. If you’d like to chat further about getting in touch with your sensual side or injecting more spice into the bedroom, connect with me here.
Skye is an approved Awakening Within Relationship & Sexuality Coach and owner of Evolved Lovers.